I spent a lot of years thinking that way too Steve - but I look back at my 20 years of 'crazy stuff' - and there's not a lot of substance there....and a lot of unhappiness....both for me and people I cared about
The drinking and the drugs and the crazy stuff were all the same thing - trying to fill the emptiness in me. That's what I had to work on.
I thought I was living life to the full - but I was really only existing.
D