Originally Posted by
MaryRita 
But last Tuesday and Wednesday I drank two litres of whiskey. Woke up about three in the morning and spent the next three hours scared out of my life, never felt so scared. My husband and youngest son slept soundly and I was just so scared.
Mary:
I can relate to so much in your post. In the last year of my drinking, I had "morning terrors." Don't know how else to describe them. I just woke up utterly terrified.
My daughter was taken away from me by my mother because I couldn't be a mother in my condition. I also functioned well in certain areas of my life. I made sure I was not only good, but the best at what I did so I could protect my drinking. I had panic attacks often--that sense of losing control and wanting to jump right out of my skin. I hurt a lot of people as well, and the ones I hurt most were the ones who loved and cared for me.
I got sober through AA. I was able to work through the anger, guilt, blame, self-pity by means of a good sponsor who guided me through the program and shared what happened to her. I found a way to live a decent life without alcohol. I also found people who shared my problem and the solution to it. I have a new life today. Alcohol is not a part of it. My daughter lives with me again and I'm learning to be a mom. I have my ups and downs. I am, after all, living life today instead of merely existing with a drink in my hand. I wish you the best in your journey.