Hey doodle. You'll get better at this, I can tell you that. I still have times where I want to say what I want to say, but it's not my business. What other people do, well, for me, they have to be responsible for that.
At the same time, there's nothing wrong with sharing with your dad in a loving and caring way how you feel and let him know that you're hopeful that he'll start doing the right thing for himself health wise so you all will have more time with him.
What I have learned to do for myself is that when I get "angry" I take a look and see where that anger is really coming from. Am I hurt about something? Am I scared? Last time I went through a situation where I was angry, I wanted to just go off on the person and when I took some time to investigate within myself to see what was really going on with me, it was really that my feelings were hurt. I was able to express myself to that person basing it on being hurt. Had I gone with "anger" I would have probably said some hurtful things myself just making the situation worse.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I know this is your dad and you love him and want him to be well. I hope he can get on his health plan with his doctor but if not take care of you. In both cases, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
