Can I vent???
Hey all …
So I’ve going to blow off some steam here. I just got off the phone with my 82-year-old dad (a drinker) who says he was in the ER last night until 2:30 a.m. Seems he finally got around to getting a blood test that his doctor had been after him about and when the doc got the results, he called my dad at home and told him to get his butt to the hospital because his potassium levels were off the chart.
Of course, my father, who can barely walk and has heart disease, didn’t call any of his kids for a ride. Or ask to stay the night at the hospital since it was going to be dawn in a couple of hours. Or ask if it could be any of the dozens of pills he’s on. He did tell me, however, that his doctor had given him a special diet a couple of weeks ago and that the printout IS STILL OUT IN THE CAR!
One thing that I hear over and over again in AA is that I have to let go of trying to control things. And I’m trying. But this stupid phone call has made me incredibly sad, frustrated and angry. Angry that he won’t follow his doctor’s advice. Angry that he was bashing on the ER staff. Angry that he won't take steps to help himself.
In some twisted way is he trying to share? I feel like he’s yanking my chain. Like he calls and drops these bombs and then waits for the impact. I tried to keep it neutral when we were speaking and just listen, but inside I was a mess. I’m sorry for the kvetching. I'm going to go for a walk and try to let it go.
A big reason why I finally stopped drinking – six months ago -- is that I saw myself following the same patterns as my dysfunctional parents and I couldn’t bear it any more.
Do I sound like a cold-hearted daughter? Thanks for listening.
DDog