Matty, I am so, so proud of you!
You are doing what I never had the insight or the courage to do when I was your age. I was living in a world of depression/anxiety and couldn't/wouldn't seek help for myself. I am SO glad that you are working through this.
And, yes, it's hard looking back at the stuff that led us to addiction, because it's often a long, tangled mess. But, you can do it. You have support here from your friends and from your dr.
Something I have found Matt, is that when I have been at my lowest ebb in recovery, there is a beautiful breakthrough. I think that's where you're heading.