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Old 04-10-2010, 05:01 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
vegibean
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
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Mattcake, I have goose bumps from reading that post up there. I am very proud of you for "letting it all out". Very awesome for you, another step in your progress to get totally healthy. I also know that alcohol wasn't all to blame in what I was doing. I had YEARS of built up stuff that it wasn't so much shoving down (until it was all piled up, how do you deal with years, decades of stuff???) but things that I was told to "get over it", "things happen to bad people all of the time, what makes you special?" or "it was in the past, who cares?" Apparently I cared because it was stuff that was never dealt with.

The first time I opened my mouth to dump all my crap to my counselor, I was crying so hard she could barely understand me. Yeah, I felt like a big baby too. I don't think I had wailed like that since I was a kid.

Alcohol was wonderfully numbing for me. I didn't realize how much so 'til I put it down. I used to pride myself on "I never cry."

matt, while you still may be struggling right now, I am very happy for you that you have taken another step in taking care of YOU!!!!!! Very awesome.

Sending tons of hugs your way.
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