Hi Twitcher,
I was married to a lady that was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. The abuse was unrelenting and it is amazing the power she had to make me believe it was all my fault. I used it as an excuse to drink. Then, after I left her, I continued to use the former abuse, lonliness, and the physical pain I was in, as an excuse to drink. I really had to take a look inside myself and decide for me that I didn't want to feel like that anymore. The alcohol was helping the sadness linger inside me, and I was self medicating to numb the pain in the evenings. It was all very counterproductive. I am not very far in, but I am already starting to feel better...
I am not sure if this hits home for you, but I hope a little part of my struggle helps.
M