update 1 - 3pm 9/4/2010
it is 3pm in the uk and I am sober have taken a couple of painkillers for a bruised foot so looks like this will be my first sober day in some weeks as one thing about me I dont drink on meds that interact with alcohol. There is an AA meeting within driving distance at 7.30pm tonight and if my car is still working I might go to it.
Every single day where I live a whole multitude of things will happen to drive me absolutely crazy all caused by another person so for sobriety for me it definetly is one day at a time and its not even that for me sobreity is coping with each provocation at a time and not taking the easy option out which would be to drink to dull the anger frustration pain and sheer injustice of being at the mercy of someone elses actions.
If that sounds like self pity and negative it isnt, one cannot control an another persons actions but one can control ones reaction to their actions and in my case the provocations are constant numerous and intense and are meant to cause a reaction and the less I react the stronger the provocations get until I snap and I get drunk and sometimes people ask me why I dont move out and the answer to that is I am usually too drunk and angry at being provoked to do a thing other than to get drunk and more angry which of course totally suits this person as they know as long as I am drunk I am never going to do anything positive about things.
The solution ? first things first stay sober because being drunk gives them what they want