tpen,
can you believe that she is defective?
what is it about this statement that causes you to feel so badly?
YOU did not bring dishonor upon either one of you; she did this all on her own.
for me, i have sought validation from many, many people in my life: my father, my ex-husband, my current relationship man, my supervisors. i have found (although not all the way there yet!) that when i believe in myself, really love myself, and accept myself for the flawed yet beautiful person i am, i'm much better off.