Originally Posted by
Sobertimeforme 
when they first started getting sober? or have a hard time with them not understanding what you are going thru?
I remember talking with a friend when I first got sober. She absolutely could not get her head around the idea of why I had continued to drink after all the horrendous consequences I had put myself and my family through. She just couldn't understand.
She couldn't understand the irrationality of it. That's because alcoholism goes beyond reason. Any sane person, who had the ability or willpower, would absolutely quit drinking after the things we do to ourselves and others we supposedly care about. It's the nature of alcoholism, though. We keep drinking in spite of those things.
What I learned, and it's really an AA idea of humility and personal responsibility, is that my family and friends don't have to understand. They don't have the problem. I do. What gives me the right to demand their support and understanding? Alcoholism is my problem, not theirs. They just want me to be happy and sober, and stop abusing them.
M demand for their acceptance, support, and understanding is another form of my selfishness. Instead of continuing that demand, sobriety for me meant repairing the damage I'd done. It meant being of useful service to them instead of demanding more from them.