I can see it and it hurts me. the sad think is I don't trust myself, My wife doesn't trust me with drinking and I don't trust myself anymore. I had a wonderful few days with her sober and it was great but I thought thinks are perfect why don't have a drink with her. she was like you shouldn't but I was sure I could handle just one drink. I drank a little more that night but then the next day I got trashed.