The thing is, I am not even sure I want this baby, and I can't believe I am even writing this, today when I had that first drink it was because I didn't care, I was thinking maybe if I drink it will go away, and I won't have to decide anything, yeah thats how bad a person I am, I kinda came to my senses and stopped drinking, because I know I was not really of sound mind you know, but I really really don't know what to do.