Of course you belong here. And, in a strange way, you are way ahead because of the circumstances. I think most people (me, for sure) started out thinking that if we could just get them to stop drinking, everything would be fine. So many times I have read posts on this board from people whose spouse stopped drinking and the frustration that the behavior hasn't changed. Since you don't even know for sure whether he's drinking or not most of the time, you don't subscribe to that belief. Yay.
It's always about the behavior. And about the belief that WE can somehow change THEIR behavior. Your husband is behaving like an alcoholic, whether he actually is one or not. Figuring out whether that behavior is acceptable to you is the issue for you to figure out. (Maybe a name change is in order, though, lol.)
L