apologies in advance to those of you that know my story by heart!
Littlefish -
1. My husband has hidden his alcohol for years (I'd find it periodically in weird places).
2. He drank in front of me regularly (there were usually 3-4 bottles of wine in the house - in the open and he drank a few glasses most nights),
3. He had trouble sleeping and a number of times I woke up and went to find him and he was drinking
4. He was sneaky about his drinking - he would put his glass on the floor or behind something if I came in the room
5. He admitted (years ago to his sister) he felt like he might have a drinking problem
6. His sister and mom thought his behavior was problematic (buying lots of beer, waiting till everyone went to sleep to drink it alone)
7. when we met he was a regular at the bars
8. 5 months ago I found 16 empties from 7 days (and I hadn't seen him drink all that)
9. I also found wine in a to go coffee cup he takes to work - he denied, then later minimized that
10. He was angry and defiant when I confronted him, threatened to divorce, was a wreck (angry, sad, defensive, depressed) for 4 months-ish after that
11. He has lied before about quitting smoking and other stupid stuff
12. He lied about hiding his alcohol in the new house we are in (I unpacked his box of wine, then it "disappeared"). He says he "can't remember" that.
13. He said he would quit then changed his story and said he wouldn't
Now he's removed all the alcohol and is acting sane again.
Good luck figuring it all out. I can't.