Wilson below is a quote out of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" being an alcoholic I totally relate to it, do you?
MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we
were real alcoholics. No person likes to think
he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.
Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers
have been characterized by countless vain attempts
to prove we could drink like other people. The idea
that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his
drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal
drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
For me I had to accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and one drink is to many and 1,000 is not enough. I NEVER enjoyed my drinking when I controled it, I only enjoyed my drinking when I let it control me. It is so much easier not drinking at all then being miserable trying to control it.
You are not alone if you can relate to me or the quote I provided.
Wilson there is a solution.