(((Treehugger)))
You can see what alcohol is doing to him. Can you see what it is doing to you? Whish I could be with you now , have a coffee and a nice chat. The life with addicts make us do things that are not normal to others - controlling/checking up/monitoring their every move. I did that for 20 years and I got so sick that I could not function. It paralyzed me.
So glad you found us. You are in a difficult place. You are starting to break through the denial - scary place to be. What would happen if you ignored his drinking habits 100 % and leave his whole recovery/or not recovery to him?
The answer we all here came to is this - nothing will change. He will do what he wants to do,regardless of what you say or do. If you nag - he can even use it as a reason to drink!
I would say that it would be good for you to detach. Leave his recovery/drinking totally up to him. For your sanity and health. I concentrated so much on my husband that my children suffered.
He will do what he will do. They love putting the blame on others - save yourself from being "a reason".
Detach !!