The problem I've found, EndlessNight, is that after a period of sobriety, my mind tells me that it is okay to drink again. Alcoholism is a thinking disease. Sooner or later I would forget what would happen when I drink. And if I remembered, then my mind would tell me that that won't happen this time. "This time it will be different." That is the mental obsession part of the disease. Once I've taken a drink, the physical allergy and craving take over. Maybe the first several time will be moderate intake. But sooner or later, the amounts of alcohol increase, and it is back to an all-out binge. I have found that self-knowledge and willpower don't work to fight the disease of alcoholism. I had to find a Power Greater Than myself which would solve my problem for me. Have you tried AA?