I could go on endlessly about the financial difficulties of being married to an alcoholic. Based on my experience.....
1. if you all think it is wise to know your husband's credit card debt/payment plan (or even set joint agreements about how much to pay off a month or an agreement not to get into any more debt, etc.)
I think it is very wise to know your husbands financial info. It is yours now too.
I think joint accounts are smart in healthy relationships, and very unwise in relationships with alcoholics.
I think budget discussions, shared budget plans, and financial planning are all a waste of breath and time with an alcoholic.
2. is it weird to you that my H keeps it secret?
I think it is suspect. Highly suspect.
3. how do you do your finances with your husband/wife? Do you share everything? Do you plan together? Do you have agreements about money? How does that work if it is going right?
I have had approximatley 10,489 different discussions, plans, agreements, arrangements when it comes to money, budgets, financial planning. All the discussions were rational, joint, agreed on. NONE of them worked. Both people have to a) care, b) intend to follow through, c) actually follow through.
Where I am at the basic is that debt before marriage remains with the person, debt incurred during marriage is shared 50/50 regardless of if both people knew about it, signed for it, etc. Debt during seperation, but before divorce, is shared unless the divorce petition forbids it.
Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
I tried for years to figure out how to have a healthy relationship around finances. I think you have to have a healthy partner first.
We had all our finances combined at one point, and we were constantly broke. One day I opened my own account and had my paycheck direct deposited into it. His name was not on the account. From that day on, no more bounced checks, no more late payments, etc. But, I was now covering everything, just to make sure it was covered. He took that as free reign to spend all his money on whatever he felt like. UGH.
Honestly, one of the biggest reasons I divorced him was to protect myself financially.
L
We may have been married to the same person.
Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa My finances are straight. But, I'm single and staying that way. Never giving my power away again. Emotionally, spiritually, financially, or otherwise.
L
We may
be the same person, lol.