Sorry for what you are going through. You said reading the books makes you feel worse? I would say quit reading those books if they make you feel worse. Read things that make you feel more positive. The Big Book is very good for that.
I know you are down, but remember that drinking certainly won't make it any better. With sobriety you can work things out rationally. Just stay sober today, and take things one day at a time and work through things. It sounds like you are doing a lot of things right and since you are in AA, you believe in a power greater than you. Maybe try turning things over to him? The feeling of depression and misery means to me that you are taking too much of the burden on yourself when you could turn it over to God.
Keep us posted and best wishes to you and your recovery.