I found that of my own will, I could often go a couple days without drinking. I would then say to myself, "See, I'm not that bad. I didn't drink all weekend so I'm cool." So I'd have a drink. Perhaps I'd only have that one. Again, "See, I'm not that bad." But some time very soon, it would start again. Waking up with no memory of what happened. My girl asking me if I even remembered our conversation from the previous night. All around bad news.
This time, and it's different for lots of people, but I went back to AA. It's helped me tremendously. The fellowship, my sponsor, the experiences people share, the teachings in the Big Book...I personally could not have reached Day 9 without AA.