Originally Posted by Womble

Thnx for the supportive messages.

I have come to a very enlightened conclusion regarding my drinking after a long coversation with my eldest son today.
I think I am fortunate that I had that relapse. The last month I have been really struggling not to pick up, by giving in, just for 4 days has taught me that
I AM powerless over alcohol. I only thought I would drink one night, but once I started I could not stop, the last night I drank (Tuesday) I was already in pain (as I suffer from a disease called Ulcerative Colitis).....but I cold not help myself but to pick up, and drink till the pain subsided.
The following morning when I found this forum, I was still in denial, but something happened. I realised that I was going to kill myself if I carried on, so I got on my knees, prayed, then balled my eyes out. (sad isn't it?) I then understood with claity ...what sane person would do what I had done,? It's like banging your head against a brick wall thinking it won't hurt you, thats insanity!!

Suddenly I feel free....I know and have heard enough about the aa programme in the 12 years I have been in and out of it to realise that what so many people have told me can come true, I have been in denial of the possibility of a higher power....now it appears that hp has rewarded me for my efforts, even though it came about in a strange way. I have always done service, helped others, done whats suggested...but just never "Got It" ....but I think that now I have, and now maybe I can move on with my life without being in constant fear of the monster lurking within, I feel liberated......and much of that came from coming here yeterday morning, why ? I have no idea, and it does not really matter.....God moves in mysterious ways indeed.!
Thank you for being here for me, I will always be here for u guys too

I wish you all peace and serenity

Womble