Thanks everyone. I was mostly kidding about doing the 4th step now, just showing how frustrated I am.
I think we all rationalize with ourselves however we can until there is just no way around it any more. I don't know why alcohol has that much power but it does. And the human condition is usually that we can't learn from other's mistakes, we have to learn through our own experience.
I have had enough rotten experience and done enough bad things to tell me that I am on the red wine road to nowhere. I am just struggling with the decision to stop altogether. And you guys know that if it was easy, everyone would do it.