Hi Jack and all the other newcomers. Glad you are here.
Thanks for your posts. I remember my first days well... lots of unknowns and fear, trying to label myself, trying to put myself along the high-to-low bottom drunk spectrum.
I agree with Anna and Dee that labels like "alcoholic" and "HFA" are actually not as important as you deciding whether you want to do something about the cunning and powerful alcohol.
As a logical guy, one of my favorite quotes about the "Am I an alcoholic?" question comes from the book Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.
When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check.
In the end, what I learned was that HFA or not, I was not living life. I was using alcohol as my solution to my actual problems. I was basically drugging myself and not experiencing life.
I know that it seems tough now (e.g. What will I do at a baseball game without a beer?), but the reality is that you will be fine. Now that I no longer drink, I am much more present in the life of my family. I am mostly happy. We all think that alcohol makes us happy, but it just delays the truth.
I ask that you do something for yourself. Read a lot about alcoholism. Read SR, read the Big Book, learn that you aren't unique nor are you alone.
If you aren't an alcoholic, then stop drinking. It won't bother you.
But if it does, then you may be on an elevator that only goes in one direction. You can choose to get off at a higher floor with your family, job, finances, etc. still ok. Or, you can try to find an easier, softer way to keep alcohol part of your life. Most have failed and ended up much worse off.
In the end, don't do it for anyone else. You can only do it for yourself. When you are ready, there are many people willing to help - in SR, in AA, and in other programs. The key is that you need to work at a program of recovery. You can't just use self-will to solve this problem. This is different.