Thanks for telling it like it is and not sugarcoating anything. And it sounds like it ain't easy but, it does get easier. 3 months, that is a major accomplishment. Congrats to you.
You actually make it sound like a clear positive (the NOT drinking) and I believe you. Whereas before, I'm thinking I know I need to make a change but, I'm going to miss so much of the drinking "lifestyle" I was questioning whether it would be worth it?
You give me hope that not only can I still have a good time without the booze but, actually can have a BETTER time.
Now that sounds like a good deal to me: don't feel like crap, don't make ass of self and still manage to have a fun time. I like the sound of that.
jack
Originally Posted by
chicubs1 
You're exactly where I was three months ago (and your story sounds very familiar), Jack!
A couple of things I learned from my experience that I hope can help you through this:
How do I fight the urge to order a drink when I walk into a cozy bar and hear the buzz of conversation and the familiar clinking of glasses?
Stay out of the bars for at least a month if you can. The call of the of the clinking glasses is very real and can be a very frightening sound. I waited almost 2 months before going back into a bar. The other thing I did was to avoid going with some of my heavy drinking "friends", who, as luck would have it, have started falling away now that I'm not out getting blasted with them.
What are the benefits you think I will realize (besides the not making an ass of myself or waking up with a hangover)?
You will see EVERYTHING more clearly - the good, bad, and ugly. Once the fog starts lifting (I can almost guarantee you'll notice you really were in a fog you didn't know existed) you'll appreciate everything more.
What do I replace a cold beer with as a reward for say mowing the lawn on a hot day?
Tough one - I took the drastic step of removing all alcohol from the house and guess what? I found out after awhile I didn't even miss it (in my case my 10PM wind down beers on days I didn't hit the bar).
What am I going to do with all my spare time when I am not drinking?
Anything you want! You'll find that that bar time was sucking the life out of you. I work out more - I have so much more energy now that I'm sober its crazy. I'm also more excited about doing things with my wife and family than I was and (after making amends with him) spend a ton of time with best friend and we're more inseparable than ever and having even more fun than we did before.
What do I tell my friends when I go over and they offer me a beer and I say no thanks?
Nothing. You'll instinctually know what to say to people, but if you're not drinking, it's none of their business. Again, you'll find some of the hard core people will be uncomfortable - good riddance.
How do I have fun when I go out with a bunch of people to a bar?
You're going to have a blast. Once I started going out again, I found out I had just as much fun as before with the added benefit of staying out later and actually being functional the next day - you'll love it! In my case, I love seeing bands and now I enjoy them more. As I've said repeatedly, you might to lose some friends (I'm going through that now), but you'll find new ones and also find that the booze was just as you said a crutch and you really don't need it. In my case I found out some mutual friends didn't want to be around me drunk and now actually want to spend time with me.
Hang in there! It's going to suck but after the short 3 months I've been sober, the positive totally outweighs the negative!