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03-30-2010, 04:30 AM

# 7 (permalink)

murrill

Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Posts: 343

Quote:

Originally Posted by swelter

Howdy all,
I have a desire to stop using but my obsession to use has not been removed in the slightest. I can't take it one day at a time, I mostly have to think in terms of "I won't use in the next ten minutes". This is incredibly hard.

I have already come to believe in a power greater than myself I just question the reality of my sanity being restored!

Thanks for listening

Swelter: Welcome to SR. I'm pretty new to this site myself, although I have been sober for several years. I still remember the morning I awoke and knew it waws over. I'd had yet another DWI. That bottle of pills I took didn't do what I wanted. I had tried everything imaginable to keep drinking, and all had backfired on me. So I surrendered. I gave up the fight: Alcohol had beaten me. My fear from that point was how I would live sober, and it would be several weeks later that I was introduced to AA. That's where I learned the tools that would help me to live life on life's terms. As for coming to believe.....that would take a bit longer. I grow a little uncomfortable when people "come to believe" so quickly, because too often I have observed them making a quick & uncommitted pledge to religion instead of spirituality. It has been my own experience that most of us need to nurture that relatiionship, whether with a Higher Power or the universe or spirit.

Recovery1983 wrote: In my opinion, the obsession that you talk about will always be there. Some say that as you get more time under your belt, the obsession grows stronger because your addict mind will start to rationalize or justify certain thoughts. It was hard for me to believe that my mind is an addict mind and thus wired differently.

I have been sober for more than 21 years, and today I think about drinking alcohol about as often as I think of drinking bleach. Alcohol simply is not in my repertoire. I don't say that I am immune to it, but the reality is that I don't think about it anymore; it is history. It does pass.