One week sober
I've been drinking on my own for years now (I'm 29 now) and am now 8 days sober today. Some days I've really missed drinking. Others have gone by without nary a thought.
Still, I struggle. I would've gone to the liquor store today if it hadn't been closed by the time I thought of it. I thank god I didn't think about it before 5:00 rolled around.
I miss the taste, the way alcohol made me feel. It's almost like an old friend I could rely on every night to make me feel good. But the shame and remorse I'd feel every morning I woke up with stale alcohol breath outweighed that in the end. For now.
No one in my life knows about my struggle. People know I drink too much when we're out at bars, but no one knows I drink alone a lot at night. I'm too ashamed. I guess you could say I'm a "functioning" alcoholic. I'm hoping to find community here.