rk396

i basically have two demons to fight. depression, and now alcoholism.

the first caused the second. I've delt with the depression my entire life. It wasn;t until college that i discovered the "benefits" to drinking. i drank to numb the feelings of self loating, and inadequacies (spelling?!?!).

for some 12 yrs my main goal was to keep it so that i could keep drinking with no concern from anyone... so i hid it becoming as "functional" of an alcoholic as i could. to the point where i make mention of drinking most people are like "really?... you!?!?!". I eventually put myslef in a outpatient program. and got sober for (just under) 6 months. but i was a dry drunk. the measures taken to fight the depression failed, and i basically lived in what i consider agony. I eventually fell off the wagon... well actually i JUMPED. BUT my foot caught, and now that preverbial wagon is dragging me down the road. and i can use my energy to either dislodge my foot... or pull my self back up.

and that's where i'm at. I know that my situation is not so unique, so i'm hoping that you'all can hopefully share some similar stories and good results, and the things that you've done to be sucessuful. all i want is to WANT to get better...

thanks for reading.