I came home today...
It was a very hard decision. But I think I made the right one.
It took me 3 or more weeks of kicking it around before I came up with the best possible answer I could.
I talked with all my counselors and my peers and they all think I made a very hard but good decision. Although they do feel it better I fin ish the house. They think I am doing the next best thing. And the good thing about it is, I processed it all in a healthy, safe, sober, respponsible manner.
So they say.
I will still do IOP 5 days a week at the same place so I can keep my connections with my peers.
I have kept my Monday night chair commitment. I have commited to giving the women of the house a ride to the Sat night meeting that we all like but have no way to get to unless we get a ride. Which is hard sometimes.
I am still going to work on trying to get donations for the fundraiser for the house activity fund.
I have so many new friends you guys.
They had a house attention Wed and I was totally amazed and touched at what my peers had to say. I really had no ide they felt the way they do about me.
I didnt think I was that important to anyone.
I am getting what I wanted. I told you guys I wanted f2f bonds like I do with some of you all here.
I cant begin to expalin how wonderful that makes me feel. And what a difference in my recovery it makes.
I havent any real true connections with people since high school.
I have real friends who c are about me. That know where I been and dont care. That dont want anything from me except to stay clean and live better.
I get it now!!
I see exactly why you all kept telling me I needed to do this.
See how hard headed I am? I could have had this years ago had I stopped being so self riteous and just gave it a try.
I am so freakin blessed.
Without you all, my family and my new sober fam. I am goign to make it as long as I stay honest with myself and everyone around me and kepe working my program.
GET THIS!! HAHAHA..Two of my peers said I lead by example. That I am an asset to the house and set a good example of how to work a good program. HAHA.
Can you believe it??!!! ME!!! Never in a million years. HAHAH
Life is wonderful people.
Now I can take back a little of the responsibility I left piled on my gram and keep my focus where it needs to be..On my recovery. That was really destracting me for weeks.
They said at group they can see a huge difference in me since I decded this. Like a weight has been lifted. There is always common ground if you take your time and weigh your options. I believe that with all my heart.
But there has to be a balance and sometimes you have to sacrifice some things in order to get what you need.
I am ok with that.
I havent felt this good ever.