Hi Mike,
It's good to hear from you, and I hope that your wife is doing better now.
I know exactly what you are saying. I relapsed many times while attempting to stop, but once I made the decision that drinking was never an option, it worked for me. When I was newly sober, we went through a few months where a stranger was actively stalking my then 19-year old daughter. It was a nightmare, but I knew that if I could get through that without drinking, I would have it made.