Hello Insideout,
I could feel your despair through your post. My best friend is going through the same thing with being removed from family and wanting to go back home.
She does realize, however, that her time here has taught her to really appreciate what she has back home and how much she took things (even really little things) for granted. If it weren't for her making this move, she never would've learned those lessons and she's grateful for it.
It "sounds" like your despair is more situational. Would you feel this down and empty if you were back in Texas with family and friends around?
I believe that regret is about the past, fear is about the future. Staying stuck on the past keeps us from moving forward. Whoever you talk to (dr or online sponsor), hopefully they can help you to find a way to forgive yourself about the past and move on.
I agree with you that your sobriety is your own business - I wouldn't share it in what is a "temporary" social circle - esp. if there's already a feeling of too much judgement being cast - no need to risk having the sewing gals catch wind of it.
Congrats on your sober time. 5 months will fly by. Let the fact that where you're at right now geographically is not forever - that might help sustain you till you get back home. Take care.