Originally Posted by
igottobesober 
It was a dumb decision
Feel free to disregard everything I'm saying. It's just my experience.
For a couple of years, I would fall off the wagon and return to drinking after a few months of abstinence. It always 'seemed' to me like I was making the decision to do that, or that circumstances or situations put me in that position to pick up that drink. I held fast to this delusion that I knew what I did wrong, and I would manage better next time. I never made much progress with quitting for good and all. Just got more beat down and demoralized.
Real, lasting, quality sobriety started for me with the shattering of that delusion. Even though it 'seemed' like bad choices or bad decisions on my part, I had to accept the fact that I always ended up drinking. That was the fact I couldn't ignore. I could decide not to all I wanted, and I could really mean it. The problem was, I couldn't manage that decision.
When I accepted that I was going to keep drinking in spite of my decisions not to, I began the greatest journey of my life into lasting sobriety as the result of a spiritual awakening from AA's 12 Steps. I've since seen that same journey change the lives of many others.