helluvacook once you have found the fortitude to go to your first meeting the rest get easier & easier, I eventually looked forward to going to meetings & still do. It is the one hour to hour & a half that I feel safe & comfortable during that day being around people who understand me & some of my crazy thoughts, because they have them as well!!! LOL
"What if I still want to drink sometimes
When I first got in the rooms I learned that the truth about me was that it was normal for me to think that, but in being honest with myself there was no such thing as Martin having ONE drink................ unless you call a bottle one drink! I have found life far easier not drinking at all then taking that gamble that I took & always lost trying to convince myself "I will be happy to just have one or 2 tonight." The rare times I did only have one or 2 I was never happy.............. I WANTED MORE!!!
what if I change my mind, what if i tell my family and friends I quit and then I unquit,
If you do it will be your decision & no one elses, no one I know of has had some one pin them down & force a drink down thier throat. If you changed your mind you would not be the first person to do so, nor the last.
I went to my first AA meeting drunk, left drunk, kept on drinking another 5 years before my second meeting. I was just as welcome at my first one drunk as I was at my second one with a few hours short of 24 hours since my last drink. I have not had a drop since.
No matter what always remember that you never have to be alone again!