SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - my first post after reading this site for months

03-24-2010, 07:07 AM

# 12 (permalink)

zbear23

Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Posts: 385

Quote:

Originally Posted by L1th1um67

I've been gone pretty bad for a long time, I am thinking about some kind of therapy or something, but I hate when you ask for help and they label you a drug addict, even when you're actually clean! Just having the courage to say "hey, I need some support without judgment" and getting judged, it kills me. I am a socially anxious person since childhood and I don't know if I can handle the idea of meetings, I'd really prefer one on one with a social worker- I have insurance also, thankfully. Does anyone have any suggestionsB how I could get the ball rolling on this? I feel like my biggest problem right now is the mental adjusting I need. I feel like without some guidance, I could easily end up back to the familiar only out of comfort.

Welcome back!
For starters....there is no such diagnosis as "drug addict." If you are indeed "addicted," the proper diagnosis is "dependent" as in "opiode dependence, alcohol dependence, heroin dependence," etc. And that is, when you think about it....true. I depended on my drugs to regulate my feelings, and without them I was just nuts...depressed, confused, anxious, full of shame, guilt, fear and doubt....not to mention a deep sense of self loathing.

I am a recovered addict/alcoholic. Not cured. I know that I can never use drinks or drugs again in safety....I will inevitably lose control once again, and every time it will be worse. So I will always be....until I die.....an addict. There is a HUGE difference between just being an addict and being a recovered addict. An entirely different way to live life. As I heard someone in an NA meeting say when I was new to recovery..."There's no shame in my game." Took me a while to appreciate that.

As someone mentioned, your insurance company can give you a list of mental health providers and their specialties. I recommend social workers (since I am one), and also agree that any therapist is going to also suggest a support group like AA, NA, SMART, Women for Sobriety or Rational Recovery. My own experience has been the tremendous relief of getting honest and letting go of my secrets....admitting my powerlessness over the drugs and that my life was truly unmanageable.

I am a member of AA, because I prefer the "feel" of that fellowship (it often appeals more to old folks like me). But I also occasionally attend NA. They are both 12 step programs where you will find the kind of loving support that right now is probably unimaginable to you. Something about folks like us who share a common,, life-threatening problem, coming together in a life-saving solution. This recovery stuff is something I could not do on my own, and I've know very few people who have been able to sustain real recovery without some sort of support. It's not impossible, but why not join those who have FOUND the solution....and just walk in their footsteps???

blessings
zbear