Old 03-23-2010, 07:53 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
EliotRosewater
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
You're in a tough boat. When I was in college I got arrested for drunk driving. As a condition of getting my license back I was required to do a standard Alcohol & Other Drugs program with a counseler. That was liberating. I was able to tell him everything that I wasn't able to tell anyone else - because after all - he heard some version or other of my story every, single, day. On the opposite side of that token, I completely agree with you about not wanting to tell your parents. Then you are branded for many years if not for the rest of your life as a substance-abusing, troubled person. To those of you who want to hit me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and tell me: "That's terrible advice Eliot! Bad Eliot! Bad!" - try to put yourself in her shoes. I would have felt exactly the same way when I was in HS. No one wants to be "that kid." Come to think of it, as an adult now, no one wants to be "that adult." And yes, I know the handful of valid points that I think everyone here knows also about "recovery" and worrying about what people think and "the only way to get better." Truth is, though, even if that wouldn't really happen, I'd be just as hesitant as Mek is being. I understand it. Right, wrong or indifferent. That said. Mek - it's really great to be able to talk to someone. And, the fact that you are the one who brought it up shows fine initiative. I have a small number of people that I can be totally honest with about all the mistakes I've made and the problems I have, have had, or think I'm going to have. You are right to think seeing someone would be a good idea.

I googled.


How do I talk to my parents about getting help? What should I say?
One of the hardest things in this world is to live by fear. And remember — our fears are much bigger than what actually happens when we try something new. So challenge yourself — think of talking to your parents as an act of courage, of toughness. Some kids are closer with one parent and not the other so there's no rule that you have to talk to both parents together. Start with one if that feels better to you. Also, you might start with your fear and ask your parent to not be angry with you. You might say, "You know, Mom (or Dad), I want to talk to you about something that's hard to talk about but I'm scared you'll just get mad." See how that introduction feels and then, "I'm wondering if I should be thinking about whether I have a problem with drugs."


Is it possible to talk to my parents about getting help -- without admitting anything about my drugs or alcohol use? Sure, it's possible. You may just not be ready to talk to your parents, but you might want to talk to a psychologist about it. You can say to your parents that you need to talk to someone professionally, a therapist, but you are not ready to talk to them about it. You want them to respect that for the moment and that maybe in the future you can talk to them, but you know you need to explore some stuff with a neutral person — someone who will be objective. You need that safety for the moment. You might even ask for just one session with the therapist and see how that goes.



Yours on a potentially hot-button issue,

Eliot
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