But it's like when I'm not currently under the influence like right now ( it's a school day, I'm not that bad) I look back on my experiences and truely think I have a problem. But when I'm in the moment, drinking or smoking or partying, I don't think I have a problem. And I find any way to justify that bc I want to do it, and it's like I don't want my self to keep myself from doing it. I don't know if that makes sense but I sit here thinking that if I try stopping all together, the next time someone having a party I'm gonna be like screw this, I wanna get F'd up! But when I'm not all pumped about a party or something I sit here and think about how much I wish I would change.
I think everybody here felt this way Mek - I know I did.
It's part of the whole thing - when we want to, we can lie to ourselves and say screw it, or I'm not that bad....but if you're anything like me, you are actually that bad - and for your own good, that needs action...now.
D