Originally Posted by
ElegantlyWasted 
Also there is a general consensus that most people don't really start feeling balanced until about a year. Again; early on I though it too was rubbish. For me now it's not. I've found real wisdom in the words of those who are now sober and living balaced productive lives. I want what they've got; and know I am going to get it.
I did the same thing, shredded all the advice I got to bits. I'm somewhere around 10 months along. It's a rocky road but I'm beginning to understand things in a way I never could have if I a) hadn't done drugs, and b) hadn't quit drugs. It feels a little uncomfortable to be somewhat grateful for those experiences, miserable as they were. Before I did drugs I had a very sheltered life. I reluctantly started drugs, disapproving of myself, but eventually thought I was living. Parties, friends, dope... I had a glittering world around me. But it's a tired cliche that's true: all that glitters isn't gold.
In a sense drugs released me from a lot of fears but it was only the difference of being allowed into a slightly larger cell in a different kind of prison. I had to quit drugs to get out. I think I'm on parole; I have an uneasy sense of knowing if I screw anything up I could go back. And maybe that's why it's hard to forgive myself still, it's not exactly in the past yet.