Thanks for posting EliotRosewater.
You have a lot of really valid points in that post. Remember though that you need to "Live in the solution and not in the problem"
The fact is that I wouldn't have changed anything about my drinking behaviour untill I was ready. When I was the OPs age alcoholism never crossed my mind. I was far too busy just thoroughly enjoying getting wrecked. Though note to the OP that I never even sought out any 'recovery' untill I was about 21. So you're obviously further down the line than I was.
I think you have many valid points about 'life-experience'. You can literally only gain this by living life and getting older.
I also like what you say about alcohol and the 'relationship' with it. This is important to ponder as I know that my relationship with booze was very different to most other binge-drinkers/heavy drinkers. I genuinely 'loved' booze. Now that is some attachment. Much of my early sobriety, upto about 6 months, was characterised by mourning/grieving for my best friend in sporadic periods. That ain't something a non-alcoholic would do I'm sure.
Eliot you have known that you're an alcoholic for some time now, nearly a year, but if you keep drinking and running away from the reality then the YETS' will happen eventually. Drunk during the day, driving drunk, drinking when waking will all come eventually if you're an alcoholic in most probability.
Don't be predjudiced towards truly accepting yourself as an alcoholic. A 'recovering' sober alcoholic ain't nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe things are different in USA but in England there is much respect for a young person who has realised booze will be their downfall and as such have faced their problems head-on and accepted that just for today they won't take that first drink.
Knowing you''re an alcoholic and continuing to drink is a lonely road to go down. I knew i was an alcoholic when I went back drinking again during my 'last farewell' with drink and drugs. You know what? It was all over and very dark and desolate. My behaviour was probably very strange in my blackouts and I knew it was all over and I knew what had to be done... I had already had a stint in AA.
You know what has to be done dude, "just for today don't pick up that first drink." Then you can work on your 'thinking' and recovery.