Dear Dub,
I really feel for you as I know how HARD it is, to get through this, but the good news is that YOU CAN! every slip is just another step of AWARENESS of your condition so please be KIND TO YOURSELF like you are to your beautiful loving dogs.
I have discovered for me, that at this stage (20 days again) I have to be 'willing to go to any lengths' (BB) to stay sober as this really is a cunning disease and will do anything with any excuse to suck you back in. Having a great day! celebrate with drink! Bad day, stress? pick up a drink! in the end it is NO WIN SITUATION.
Dub there is hope, perhaps you could ask your wife not to drink in your presence as this is a deadly disease and if she wants a healthy life partner surely it would be in her best interests?
I have found that withdrawals after each relapse got WORSE (and still recovering,) still have cravings, but now I am trying not to be DELUDED by them and see them for what they are.... take my "medicine" of SR and AA. I Have also found that by having a choc fix also quietens the cravings.
Dub what symptoms do you have of withdrawal? Do you need a shortterm sedative or even detox? I am very wary of sedatives but for VERY short term use......going through a withdrawal they have their place.
Just remember Dub you are NOT ALONE! it really is amazing to ponder how souls from all parts of globe can connect, all with the common goal of staying of ETOH!
kindest regards
Julia