This is now an absolutely crucial part of recovery for me, i saw a CBT counselor (as well as my other stuff;-)) and he always said you will have a relationship with yourself for the first time in your life...of course i'm thinking hmmm what the hell is he talking about for the first 6 months sober!
For me i had to really know myself and get stuff written down and accept what i was what i had done what i am and what i do etc...then i am able to work on myself. Before i knew myself i would judge myself by my actions, thoughts, beliefs like a high court and the verdict was always guilty!
Another thing i have noticed on this journey is that the grey area has become very wide indeed, before my outlook was black or white, i would judge myself harshly and everyone else which makes sense now because i would look at the world as i looked at me...
It's not easy at all but my counselor also said trust the process and i do and it works! I have to look at myself with absolute honestly though, justification and rationalisation have to go otherwise it doesn't work.
Sane, mature people always used to say to me (the few i have met in my life that is) that you have to love yourself to be able to love another, respect yourself to respect another etc and they were right...