Horrible night
Hi, I am kinda new here. I posted a few months ago but don't remember my old user name.
I have been battling alcohol problems for years now, being a big binge drinker since I was 15, I am now 29. Over the past couple of years I have been drinking more frequently and it got to the stage a few months ago where I was drinking a lot everyday (over a bottle of wine each day). I participated in Febfast, a charity initiative in Australia that encourages people not to drink alcohol at all for the month of February. I completed the month successfully. I was deluded and thought this break would stop my bad habits and I could drink in moderation in future.
Last night I went to a birthday party and got very drunk, I was horrible, rude to people (I was asked to leave) and was really mean to my boyfriend who is such a wonderful person and doesn't deserve this at all. I feel so horrible today, guilty that I was rude, usually I am really worried about hurting peoples feelings and try to be a good person. I feel very depressed and on the verge of a panic attack and like I am the most horrible person in the world.
I am determined to be done with drinking for good. I am just terrified that in a couple of months my resolve will be weakened. I never want to feel like this again.