Hey Neo - I enjoyed your post. Thanks.
Kerb's reply got me thinking back to when I was young and first started drinking. I felt invincible - like I had just found the key to freedom and confidence. I was on top of the world and could do and be whatever I wanted - all this newfound excitement was all attributed to this magical elixir [booze].
That feeling continued and even expanded - as if alcohol was the only thing that actually motivated me to tackle projects and get the creative juices flowing - I was convinced that good productivity was only possible if I drank.
Fast forward 25 years and not only did I not have the physical energy, but that masquerade of excitement and confidence turned into shame, remorse and isolation.
Alcohol played its magic alright; it brought me from shooting stars to sailing through the sewer in a glass bottom boat.
It had me where it wanted me: on the path to dead.
By the grace of God, I saw the light and was given a second chance. I don't question or wish it happened sooner. The fact that it happened at all is a miracle. I'm happy with that.