rika

Hi

I'm an alcoholic in AA and new on this site. I'm nearly 3.5 months sober now and have been working the steps with my sponsor, and things have been great up till now. I have been following suggestions and feelings really well. Last Saturday I did my Step 5 with my sponsor and that felt really great and freeing. But the thing is that I have always suffered from extreme social anxiety about sharing in groups. I have managed to share a few times so far but only when I was put on the spot, and the anxiety was acute, although I did feel much better when it was over. Now I have just done Step 5 my sponsor is on my case to share in every mtg. She says I have to get over my selfcentred fears so I can share something that may help a newcomer still suffering. She said the social anxiety will go if I just put in the action. I desperately want to share, but I feel under so much pressure that I feel paralysed with anxiety in the meeting. Today I told my sponsor that I had shared in the mtg. I was dishonest with her and I feel terrible about it. I am thinking now about telling her I'm not ready, and finding a new sponsor that will understand and let me share at my own pace. I know I will get over this eventually through working the steps, but after 3.5 months, I still have a lot of fear. I would feel like I'm copping out though if I decide to leave her after all this progress.Any advice would be received gratefully. I'm glad to have found this website. thanks