Welcome Lighthouselady. My son is an addict and I know the pain you feel because I have been where you are. I promise you that it can get better, we do survive and learn how to live again, and although the pain never really goes away, we find a way to keep it from obstructing our vision by tucking it safely in a special place in our hearts, night next to Hope.
Miracles happen every day, we have several forums here shared by recovering addicts who are the living proof that it can be beaten. The thing is, we never know when that miracle might happen, today or ten years from today, so we say a prayer and ask God to take care of our addict children, and support one another here and at live meetings of Naranon, Alanon or CoDA.
I'm glad you joined us and hope that walking with us will help us share your load and in turn let us share our peace.
Hugs,