Our own recovery is the solution. It's so traumatic for parents when they realize the terrifying fact that their child is an addict and all our usual nurturing, caring ways must be changed. We must learn how not to enable them, how to set boundaries, how to let go, how to accept nothing we say or do can change them.
We had always been able to protect them, it was our duty, and those days are ended. It's terribly heart wrenching and sorrowful. Our child is altered, the one we knew so well is now a baffling, bewildering stranger and we fear for him or her.
Marteen, your post is wonderful and so very helpful. None of us ever
wanted to come face to face with an addicted child but suddenly there was no turning back.
When I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting, all I could do was cry.
I'm glad I went, as was suggested by the family counselors at son's rehab. I kept going
to meetings and with time, effort, willingness, the love of those who walked in my shoes, faith in a Higher Power I traded my misery for peace in my heart and soul one day at a time.
The process is a miracle and it is not an easy or quick fix....I need to keep working my own program on a daily basis. I am so grateful for SR and all the support here.
Parents, I suggest you go to meetings and come here whenever you need to. We care and share
and that is our strength and unity.