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Old 03-19-2010, 06:07 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
transformyself
I Love Who I Am
 
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
this is great! You can see!

For me, I think I finally just snapped. This last month, between the two A's in my life, I've just had enough. I did this in September, too, when I moved out. I feel the same exhiliaration and sheer joy that I did when I left AH back then.

Going No Contact, for me, is essential for me to be able to reflect back, own my sh1t, and start operating from a ME ME ME point of view, which I've got to tell ya, I'M REALLY LOVING.

I am aware right now of all the "red flags" I ignored, before things got ridiculously ugly and unbearable.

I also think I"m a prime candidate for diminishing abusive or otherwise unhealthy behavior because of the child abuse I experienced. Taught me up to freeze, shift into denial and just try to deal with ugly stuff from the folks I think I love.

But that ain't love. It's a betrayal that I mistake for love because that's all I knew. I"m trying to master what i couldn't in childhood. it's sad, it's sick and I'm going to learn how to expect, recieve and demand love and respect for myself.

for me, getting to the point where I create clear boundaries is a freaking miracle.
I feel like I can finally be the real me. And I like her.

Here's the post I made this morning about it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-im-left.html
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