Omg!!
That was really hard!...I've been sober for 4 days. I haven't told my husband and he just pulled a beer from the fridge and set it 2 inches from me while we ate dinner. It would have been so nice to have..goes good with buffalo chicken wraps! But I didn't have one. Had a Diet Coke. Not the same. How do you get use to that?
He doesn't know I quit. I tried a couple weeks ago, lasted about 12 days then blew it when I had a bad day at work and an aniexty attack. I told him then that I was quitting, he doesn't think I need to. The thing is he doesn't know how I feel. I didn't tell him this time because I'm afraid of failing again in front of him. It's not like he isn't going to notice, not too many weekend go by without me having a drink (well no weekends actually..lol). But, I feel like I don't want to announce it. It will be hard enough when I'm around my family and they all ask questions why I'm not having wine.
I don't know for sure if I'm an alcoholic. For the last few years I've been going through a bit of stress, aniexty etc. I was put on anti-depressants and go to therapy. It helps for a bit but then subsides. Since then I drink way more than I use to..and alone..which I know is a bad sign. My uncle, aunt and Grandfather were/are alcoholics (and probably some who aren't diagnosed) so I know I have the capacity to be, but I'm of the mind right now that I'm dependant on it, yes, and I'm using it to cope at this time in my life...and that's bad..So I decided to give it up, which is hard.
I've been lurking here all week. You all seem like a great bunch and I'm hoping to pass the hundreds of questions I have rolling around in my head to you. Like...Could I be fooling myself? Have you ever heard of someone who just needed to quit until they sorted out their life and then went on to have a normal, healthy relationship with alcohol?
It seems like just another thing I've been "diagnosed" with lately. Add it to the list: depression, aniexty, social aniexty, perfectionism, OCD..I mean really? What happened to just being normal?
Sorry so long