Welcome, Lovemyson..
I am another mom of an addicted child. She used for 11 years and I suffered right along with her, desperately trying to fix or change, because I thought that was my job.
Years later, when I was sick with the codie crazies, I stumbled onto SR. Between the wisdom of the Family Forums, Al-Anon, and later CoDA, I learned about the disease of Alcoholism, and my role in loving someone addicted.
Most importantly, I learned about me, and my codependency, and how to take my life back even though my addict chose to continue the path she was on.
Just this year, she finally chose to get well and has 8 months sober..
Lovemyson, this is a blessed place, with many parents who are or have walked your path..There is always hope.
Prayers for you and your son