Hello 55438. My heart goes out to you.
I think we can all relate to the desire to escape from unpleasant realities - how drinking would only make any situation worse, even if it numbs us for a bit - and how support from those who've been there is so important, like it is here on SR.
Have you checked out the FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) website? It's full of research, support, information and communications from people who are where you're at.
www.faslink.org
Blessings to you and your family ~
Hbee