Welcome back Eliot.
I'm Australian, so the dating dynamic is a little different here - or at least it has been for me. I've never been out with anyone I didn't know all that well first, so this kind of thing has never come up for me.
I imagine tho there's a bit of a clash for most of us between wanting to put your best foot forward, creating the best impression, not seeming weird, or like a serial killer...and not drinking.
I think it's especially hard for alcoholics as well - for me, drinking was pretty much all I'd ever done in social situations.
But, when it comes right down to it, I know what drinking does to me.
Even that one or two glasses of normality or social lubrication could possibly send me right back to where I was...and nobody and nothing is worth that.
You don't want to be a drinker - don't drink.
My advice is be who you are - and let the people who like who you are, be attracted to you for that.
D