jealous feelings
My husband said that he was going to go to church with me on Sunday, he never made it…..I had decided the week prior that no matter what he was going to decide about church I was going to go anyway and I did……
When I came home from church my Husband was gone, he went to his mother’s (I was gone a little over an hour) he couldn’t go to church with me, okay fine……he didn’t come home till 7:30 lastnight….(he has been sober for 63 days) so I knew he wasn’t drinking, and I knew he was helping his mom……..I had kept myself busy cleaning the house the whole day and doing laundry and watching the kids in the pool……..the day zipped by……I sat down around 6:00 lastnight, I started to cry and wonder why he chose to be with his mom the whole day…..he did tell me during the week that he was going to go to his mom’s one day on the weekend…..I told him the day he goes, will be the day I go up north and spend the day with my dad……he started to argue with me and say you just went last weekend, do you have to go again……..we don’t have the money to go……we have three b-days coming up and vacation…..so Okay fine, I didn’t go see my dad……….I can admit to being very jealous that he chose and was able to see his mom the whole day.
When he came home, he knew I was upset even though I told him nothing was wrong…..he said I was acting distant……..(he was right, but I was trying so very hard to hide it)……I know I shouldn’t be feeling so jealous, I think I needed to deal with my feelings by myself, because they probably were not justified…….(which I am not totally convinced they weren’t somewhat justified) just because he spent the day with his mom…….Why do I have this need for him to be with me so much???? I think It would have been a lot easier if I could have went to see my mom and dad….It took everything I had to not call him at his mom’s…..I did only the once when I came home from church and he wasn’t home and I wanted to confirm that he was there….